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Humor Quotations – Page 2

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I think of physic as much good or ill as any one would have me: for we have no traffic together. I am of a quite contrary humour to other men, for I always despise it; but when I am sick, instead of recanting, or entering into composition with it, I begin…to hate and fear it, telling them who importune me to take physic, that at all events they must give me time to recover my strength and health, that I may be the better able to support and encounter the violence and danger of their potions.
 

**Michel Eyquem de Montaigne**
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Weller

 

The weller you are the more drugs you can take without getting sick. That’s why doctors don’t get into more trouble than they do with therapy
 

**Eugene A Stead, Jr.**
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Limits of Genius

 

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
 

**Albert Einstein**
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Perfect Cure

 

All who drink of this remedy recover in a short time, except those whom it does not help, who all die. Therefore, it is obvious that it fails only in incurable cases
 

**Galen 2nd Century**
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I Knew It!

 

No matter what goes wrong, there is always someone who knew it would
 

**Anonymous**
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On The Right Track

 

Even though you are on the right track, you get run over unless you can move down the track.
 

**Mark Twain**
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History of Medicine

 

2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. – That root is heathen.  Here, say this  prayer.

1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition.  Here, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil.  Here, swallow  this pill.

1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective.  Here, take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. – That antibiotic doesn’t work anymore.Here, eat this
root.
 

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Bliss

 

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

 

**Unknown**
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Golf

 

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
 

**Mark Twain**
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Still Wrong

 

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
 

**Anonymous Male**

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