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Humor Quotations

 

If you look like your passport photo, you’re too ill to travel.
 

**Will Kommen**
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Epitaph of a hypochondriac: I told you so !
 

**Anonymous**
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Bad spellers of the world, untie.
 

**Grafitto**
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I saw a commercial the other day for Preparation H that said “kiss your hemorrhoids good bye”. Not even if I could.
 

**John Mendoza**
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Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity
 

**Unknown**
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When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific
 

**Lily Tomlin**
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Some drugs have been appropriately called “wonder drugs” inasmuch as one wonders what they will do next
 

**Samuel Stumpf**
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Drugs are poison, with occasionally beneficial side effects.
 

**Unknown, but profound**
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I think of physic as much good or ill as any one would have me: for we have no traffic together. I am of a quite contrary humour to other men, for I always despise it; but when I am sick, instead of recanting, or entering into composition with it, I begin…to hate and fear it, telling them who importune me to take physic, that at all events they must give me time to recover my strength and health, that I may be the better able to support and encounter the violence and danger of their potions.
 

**Michel Eyquem de Montaigne**
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The weller you are the more drugs you can take without getting sick. That’s why doctors don’t get into more trouble than they do with therapy
 

**Eugene A Stead, Jr.**
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